Ice

This is also a poem I wrote today - pretty apt for the wintery scenes that are cropping up here in Brighton, but also for those who let love dominate them...

Ice

Frozen solid - unmovable
The Ice Queen commeth -
Icicles surrounding her heart.
Blatently separating her from
All humanity and all she surveys.
No one rules her or conquers her.
She's been thawed once too often.
Never lets anyone in anymore,
Just shuts the light away.
Darkness and coldness are her friends,
The only ones she can trust.
Love never darkens her door -
If it comes knocking, it gets
A cold reception - no warmth.
Her fire died a long time ago.
Lovers come and go, nothing changes.
Some never return - some try,
But succeed they cannot do.
She is strength itself -
A cold-hearted Goddess.
Determined to focus on herself.
No one understands her motives,
But she seems to be happy...

Trapped, isolated, lonely -
The reality is startling, but
For her, this is all she knows.
The one person she loves
Can never return to her.
She lost him to the sun -
The warm rays melted his wings.
She witnessed his downfall,
And yet she still looks to her door
Awaiting the day he'll return to her.
She knows it will never happen,
But the trappings around her heart
Continue to deceive and trick her.
The wheel continues to turn,
Neverending, continuous, eternal.
The only way it will stop
Is if she saves herself.
Throw herself to the mercy
Of the overpowering sun.
Her world will crumble and melt,
But her spirit will live on.
Be daring dark Ice Queen -
Join forces with the light.
Start a new circle of life.

The Hunt

Haven't written anything for AGES, so here's one of my very recent poems I wrote today.

This poem is dedicated to 2 very special people in my life - hope they will be together for eternity...

The Hunt:

Bound together as one,
In the shadows of love
We lurk till our time comes.
Ready to strike out at those
Who dare to oppose us.

Stealthily keeping watch whilst
Only having eyes for ourselves,
Watching and listening for
A sound or movement
That distracts us from our purpose.

Silence prevails...it deafens!
Hearts beating seem louder
Than before - tension rises and falls.
The shadows we see are ours,
No one can see us - just sense us.

Bound together as one,
In the shadows of love
We lurk till our time comes.
Ready to strike out at those
Who dare to oppose us.

Poetry Prompt 7: The Hurricane

This is most definitely one of the most appropriate Poetry Prompts I've ever done (check out the website Pen Me A Poem). It's not just about the hurricanes that are occuring on the news, but down here in Brighton as I write this poem, the rain and winds are horrible! So with all that is happening here, here's my submission for this week:

The Storm:

Someone has made the Gods angry;
Lives will be changed in just minutes.
One simple action is all it takes
To destroy in order to create new.
The wind howls and roars
Knocking everything over in its path,
The strongest trees fight with valiance,
But even they can't stay standing for long.

The branches do a different dance
To a different rhythm and tune;
Bending and swaying with no control
As if they are just about to break.
Leaves and plants fly away
Never to be seen again;
Settling in a different place,
Hoping this is where hell ends.

But the hell is just beginning...

The rain becomes heavier and heavier
As if the Gods are crying tears of anger.
Water rises above its normal level,
Even Neptune cannot control this sea!
Houses flooded, possessions destroyed,
Cries of 'What have we done to deserve this?'
Fill the air, only to be drowned out
By the crash of thunder and lightning flash!

Lightning doesn't strike twice here,
But it frightens and even kills.
No one knowing how long this torment
Will last - people become more scared,
Not even the bravest souls know
How to handle this. They forget
The most simple things...
Especially the preciousness of life.

In the aftermath the next morning,
Life attempts to be normal again.
But, will anyone ever be the same
As they once were? Maybe...
Have they learned from this?
We all do things differently.
Hell may have closed over,
But we all know it will come again.

Living Hell

This is a short story that is being published this year in an anthology dedicated to vampires which is the same one 'Spider' is being published in. This is the most recent work I've done. 2 days ago in fact! Enjoy!

Living Hell

My first taste of passion was an unusual one. Never in my life had I wanted anyone so badly, wanting to taste him, feel him, devour every inch of him until I had my fill and not want to stop craving him! The feeling of being so high on the best form of drug and not wanting to come down was taking over my life – so much so I was obsessed. I didn’t want anything else. I even gave up my job for him it got that bad! But this was something I was not going to regret.

I first met ‘Mr O’ (I never knew his real name) at a friend’s house-warming party. He was so different from any of the others in the room. Tall, smartly dressed, long blonde hair tied back in a pony-tail with shiny black shoes. He made the other idiots in the room look dull – but then that wouldn’t be at all suprising, every time I go to one of these parties I always get landed with the same people. Boring, idiotic, think that they are the best thing since sliced bread! But this time I knew it would be different, and I was proved right when I laid eyes on ‘Mr O’. He was standing by the fireplace talking to one of my friends Cassie. At first I thought he was a ladies’ man the way he was chatting her up and then moving on to another, so I suppressed my initial urge at first and continued trying to focus on Colin who was talking about Zen and how it influenced his life (or was it Metaphysics versus Christianity?!? Was only half listening!). At the precise moment when I was beginning to think about leaving, a rather deep and sexy voice interrupted my thoughts.

‘I hope I’m not interrupting?’ Said ‘Mr O’ to Colin, ‘But I couldn’t help noticing that this charming young lady is rather bored! Kindly take your metaphysics elsewhere.’ Mmmm…I thought, direct and abrupt…nice touch! Colin tried to come back with one of his half-hearted ‘witty’ retorts, but found himself frozen to the spot, unable to speak. ‘Didn’t you hear me? I said go!’ Said ‘Mr O’ calmly. Colin finally took the hint and left us.

It seemed ages before ‘Mr O’ and I spoke. We exchanged the normal niceties of greetings and names before he took me completely by surprise.

‘This is not your normal scene is it?’ ‘Mr O’ asked. ‘I get the feeling that a lot of the time you’d rather be elsewhere which is why I ask.’

‘How perceptive of you’ I said, ‘But how did you know that?’

‘I recognise the signs – the fact that I am exactly the same helps. But then, these sorts of gatherings intrigue me. So many lost souls trying to fit in, but they never do.’

Naturally I was intrigued by this, so I pressed him for further explanations. All I could get out of him was ‘I am an observer of people, nothing more.’ Even when I asked him why ‘Mr O’, he said ‘That’s for me to know and you to find out.’ I should have read the warning signs then, but I just felt so at ease with this man and was having a good time that I didn’t care at that point who he was and why he protected his real name. All throughout the night we talked about the vibrancy of life and why people acted the way they did. Did they bring about their own fate or were the circumstances they were in depicting what sort of life they were going to have?

‘Take Colin for instance.’ He said. ‘He in many ways is trapped by his circumstances – so wrapped up in things that obviously do not exist or cannot be proved at least that he is fated to have no proper friends or a long lasting relationship. You on the other hand…’ he lowered his voice as he turned his intense gaze to me. ‘You are able to free yourself from your life trappings. I know we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, but I know you well enough to know that you are adventurous, daring, passionate…’ He kissed me with an intensity that blew my mind away. ‘I can give you that freedom that others cannot understand. Your needs are different from all these…empty shells that we see here. You need to be taken to a completely different level to really appreciate what you have. I can do that for you – no one else can.’ With that he took my hand and leading me out the door said ‘Let me show you something.’ Now at this point I could have said no, but for once in my life I felt so special. Somehow this beautiful creature had tapped into a part of my soul that had been locked away for so many years and I was awakening into someone, if not, something new. Here was someone who promised me a different stage that only he could give me – there was no way I was going to miss this chance.

He led me to his car and we drove in silence to his place on the other side of town. What happened next is a little sketchy though. All I can recall of that night is being in his living room by the fire, him kissing me with an intense, fiery and obsessive passion, which I revelled in. I had never been shown this much affection before and loved all the attention bestowed upon me! He then moved down my neck driving me insane, nibbling me as well as kissing, taking me to the peak of intense happiness. The next thing I knew, I felt something sharp plunging into the most sensitive part of my neck. I thought I was just dreaming, but the pain felt real – especially when the blood started to trickle down my skin onto my clothes. I kept trying to pull him off, but the more I struggled, the more he kept biting and sucking as if he had a massive hunger he had to quench! I do remember pulling him off though and running out of the flat.

The next morning I woke up in my bed not knowing how I got there. I didn’t want to move though – was it the shame of last night getting to me? I didn’t know or care, but all I wanted to do was stay in bed and hide under the covers. There was a huge thumping in my head too which I couldn’t shake. Not even pills helped.

For most of that day I stayed under the covers and eventually stirred later on that afternoon at 5pm. Couldn’t eat anything, but felt extremely thirsty – must have been the alcohol last night I thought. Even so, my normal cup of tea didn’t taste right despite me making it the way I normally would do, so tried in desperation a glass of wine. That felt ok. Didn’t drown out what happened though as the broken images of that fateful night kept coming back – especially the biting into my flesh. Just to make sure I wasn’t going insane, I looked in the mirror and to my horror, the teeth marks were still there along with the stained blood on my neck. Was my worst nightmare coming true? I thought these ‘things’ didn’t exist! With trepidation I went to the phone and called Cassie – she was the only one who properly spoke to him. She didn’t remember him. There was no such person as ‘Mr O’ it seemed.

I felt sick. I knew I wasn’t insane – last night did happen! But why did I feel like I was stuck between sleep and alertness? Did the fact that I stopped him doing what he was going to do prevent me from becoming a creature of the night like in stories my dad used to read to me in my childhood? This was when my obsession with the mysterious ‘Mr O’ really started. I knew I had to find him to put right what had been started, but didn’t know where to look. But work would be getting in the way for me to do this, so the next day, I quit my job to fully concentrate on my search – no loss really, being in a call centre was no fun anyway.

My dad always used to say that there is no heaven and hell, that we create our own hell. He’s right. ‘Mr O’ did do one thing, make me into something new, but I still search for him to this very day to seek the answers to my living hell. I don’t know who I am any more – human or vampire. One thing I now remember of that night was after I pulled him off me and ran, he called after me ‘Come back here! I haven’t finished with you yet!’ Every day I feel like I’m stuck in two different bodies; never sure which one I belong in. One moment I can be perfectly normal, but the next, I start becoming this blood-craving madwoman wanting new victims to feed on. This stops after about an hour or two; then all I feel is drained. Wherever ‘Mr O’ is, I will find him so that things will be put right. One way or another.

Soul Searching

This was written on 5th July this year when I was down on the beach for a festival and felt a little down in general, but really felt inspired for the first time in ages to write something.

Soul Searching:

Blue is the ocean of my heart,
Big, vast and open.
Waves crash on the sands
My mind has created,
And wash away the debris.

Pebbles create shapes that bemuse
And confuse - patterns not complete.
Fluid and cold is the water
That pounds and crashes here:
Changing things constantly.

Cruel is the moon that turns
The tide of a thousand souls.
Make way for the mother
That nurtures and creates,
Yet spurns all who disobey her.

Let me lie in your gentle arms
And release the inner pain.
Soothe the wound with rays
Of life, fire and passion.
But don't let me burn.

A Blank Canvas

This was written on 2nd August this year in response to Poetry Prompt on www.penmeapoem.com - the theme was 'My Writing Desk' and here is the result:

A Blank Canvas:

Inspiration comes from all seeing eyes.
Let the imaginiation run wild
With all colours that light up at night.

Outside the window looms a palace
With domes that stretch up to the sky.
Stuck in time, yet current;

Transporting me back to a time of
Princes, kings and queens.
Arabian nights coax and tempt me.

Back in the land of reality,
The box is blaring, mum is cooking
And my best friend is next to me.

The computer is on a small table
That was a shelf - makeshift, but handy.
Drink and numerous papers at my side.

White walls, sleek lines;
Carpet that's light and not right,
Sliding doors of black and silver.

All this in a box of glass
Ready to be personalised.
A blank canvas.

Ambitions and Regrets

This was written towards the end of 2002 when I was taking stock of things.

Ambitions and regrets:

Do we know what we really want?
Is it just the weather that makes us do this?
Or is it plain silliness and stupidity?
Ambitions that sometimes aren’t achieved
Are always around the corner.
A hot air balloon ride with champagne,
Wanting to take you around your favourite spot.
A mountain hike over the Philippines,
The magic of Spain’s culture and passion
And even wanting to become a star for a day.
All these call and beckon you
Saying ‘come to me, I will change your life!’
However, something deep inside tells you
To stay put, stick with what you know –
It’s safe, never go into the unknown.
Most of the time we regret not doing it
And we ruin our lives by letting it rot,
Eating away at our souls until there’s nothing left.
So, what do we really want?
Ambitions? Or regrets?